For me, personal change starts at a deep level. I’ve had a number of personality issues in my life. I’ve wanted to change those that made my life uncomfortable or downright miserable. I have made enormous changes in these traits – removing some, modifying others so that I can live with them. Some examples of traits that made me unhappy or stopped me getting where I want to go as a writer and a person:
* Feeling that being imperfect makes me a monster.
* Talking about myself.
*Making friends with self-centred women.
* “Voice” in my fiction.
* Not being able to finish writing projects.
I have changed these aspects of my personality as a woman and a writer and many others. I changed them by working on them at a deep level, not by using semantics or affirmations or anything like that.
But working the way I do is not for everyone. This is why I never, ever urge other people to work on their personality issues the way I do.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned in life, it’s that we each have to find the right way for ourselves. Even if that means we take the wrong path sometimes – all the time, for some people. I searched for decades for the right path. I knew when I had found it – because the changes I wanted to take place did take place. Not just the subsistence level few I thought I wanted but the growth and blossoming of a whole tree of change.